My Boobs. On the Internet.

This was a big week. First I realized that I’ve poisoned my kids. Both of them. Then I put my breasts on the internet. And believe it or not, the two things are connected.

I mean it was one thing when, on the way to the emergency room during Husband’s deployment, I was thinking “what a great blogpost this will be someday!” But it’s another thing when my kids start parroting my own insanity.

Case Study #1:

Me:          Cooper, let’s go! We’re late!
Cooper:   Wait, wait one sec!
Me:          No, no more “secs” Coop.
Cooper:   Mom, no. “No more sex,” Mom? Really?
Me:          (crickets)
Cooper:    Mom. That’s bloggable.
 

Case Study #2:

Olivia:     I hate this. I hate it when Daddy leaves! AND DON’T BLOG ABOUT THAT!

(sorry, Sweet Pea, I just did …)

And how does this relate to boobs, you ask? Well, right after that, I went and I put my boobs on the interwebs. Because despite the slow family poisoning I’ve caused, there are still these moments where, in the blogging world, you are rewarded for your wit and wisdom, and suddenly, in that flash of fame, that instant of poor judgment, it feels okay to put your breasts on display just for a good story.

See I write not only here, but at SpouseBUZZ.com, a site for military spouses. THE site for military spouses. And they got this ridiculous advert in their email inbox, and they wanted someone to mock it. And they called me. Me! “And so of course, we thought of you. Will you do it?”

(Honorific)!

So, for your Friday entertainment, and in honor of all the military boob controversies that have been floating around the net this week, I give you something much lighter: my boobs. Yep. And right on the front page of military.com too, by the way.

And yes, this message was pre-approved by Husband. He’s a good sport that way.

Click on the photo for the full story … because it really will make you laugh.

funny tit tat

Special credit goes to the Henna Artist Chrissy Rhyassen Smith, and the Photographer, Tiana Meckel, both of whom still think I’m a little wacky. Which, by the way, I am.

TGIF!

9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. The Dad
    Jun 01, 2012 @ 16:42:45

    Argggggggg!!!

    Reply

    • Lori Volkman @ Witty Little Secret
      Jun 01, 2012 @ 23:05:18

      Lol. Love you, Daddy!

      Reply

    • John Erickson
      Jun 03, 2012 @ 19:46:43

      Never fear, sir, despite my lascivious comments, my intentions are purely honourable. Insane, silly, and even bizarre, but honourable.

      Reply

      • Lori Volkman @ Witty Little Secret
        Jun 06, 2012 @ 15:23:54

        Wait, which part was honorable again? LOL. Was it the part about the time you spent on the internet or hiding it from your wife? Bah ahahha aha ha … this article is the gift that just keeps on giving. Still waiting to see the links from the porn site that I got when I posted about my underwear.

        Reply

        • John Erickson
          Jun 06, 2012 @ 17:53:08

          Well, since I spend a fair amount of time on the Net, there’s nothing unusual there. And as long as I fon’t break the “look but don’t touch” rule, I’m fine. And I DO mean break – remember, my wife has a Japanese Samurai sword of her own, and knows how to use it!😯
          And I do always try to be honourable. I may not SUCEED, but I try! (“Yeah, I know, you’re VERY trying!” Rimshot.)

          Reply

  2. MaryAnn Gentry
    Jun 01, 2012 @ 13:38:32

    Bahahahahahahaha!!!! I’m dying here!!!

    Reply

  3. John Erickson
    Jun 01, 2012 @ 12:44:05

    Man, next time I should read the WHOLE article, not just glance at the Email notice. I just spent three hours on eBay, trying to place a bid! Better go cancel that credit card charge, before the wife finds out…..😉😀

    Reply

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